Gabe Starts To Wonder About His "Friends"

I've got these three friends, at least that's what I'm told they are, who never seem to invite me out with them. Here's the story.

About 6 months ago me and my "friends" used to hang out a lot. Anytime one of us wanted to do something, the others would all be texted or called. One day, that stopped. One night I was talking with one friend online before dinner. This friend got a text from a second friend about meeting the third friend out for drinks. I ate dinner and never received an invite.

About an hour later I get a text from the first friend tell me that the three of them are out at a bar together. I let them know that I'm pissed about not getting an invite and that I don't want to hear about their fun anymore. They don't listen and start texting me about every little detail of fun that they are having, sending me pictures, basically just pissing me right the fuck off! So the next day I let them know about it. I let them know that I didn't care if they had fun without me, but that rubbing it in my face wasn't cool. Plus, it would have been nice to at least be invited. Since we're "friends" that shouldn't be too much to ask right?

Next, our story jumps ahead to my shitty Friday (last week). I decide to get out of town to blow off some steam and post about my plans on facebook. Now, I don't plan much at all, so I'm starting to think that making my plans public is a bad idea. Things never go the way I envision them, even when I'm only planning a few hours in advance. Anyways, I post online that I'm planning on leaving town and friend 2 invites friend 3 over saying "let's get everyone together" on my post. I don't care that they wanna get together because I'm leaving town. I just think it's a stupid idea to say "let's get everyone together" on a post that says "I'm leaving town" to a third party. Go write on that third party's wall or something! Don't make the original poster feel like they are missing out on something! Apparently they did not remember the one point I tried to make to them last time I was left out of the fun.

Now let's take the story to tonight. Tonight is a night that has got me seriously thinking about deleting facebook because all I do is see things that I'm not a part of and it makes me angry. Tonight I see a facebook post from friend 3 saying "dinner with good friends makes me feel better" or something like that. And of course, like a faithful lapdog, friend 1 is commenting on it because they were at dinner together. I used to think that I was a good friend of friend 3. And I used to think I was a good friend of friend 1. But apparently the two of them can get together and not think of me at all. Today's episode wasn't as bad as the first two, but it's still frustrating when you find out that certain people don't think of you the same way that they used to.

Oops! My Bad!

I have stayed in almost every Friday night of this year. This is what happens when most of your friends are married I guess. I never plan anything more than a few days in advance. So when I try to invite people out for a beer, things never work out because they already have plans. This leaves me at home watching tv or a movie. Pretty pathetic for a decent looking single guy.

So on Thursday I decide to post up a message on facebook seeing what people have planned for Friday night. Did I get messages from friends saying they are heading out to a bar? No. I get one friend (friend #1) laughing at me. I wasn't exactly feeling the love that night.

Friday morning as I'm driving to work, I started to think about my situation. Sitting at home on another Friday night doesn't sound like fun to me. Then I remember something: I'm single and I have a condo in Las Vegas! Fuck it! Let's go to Vegas tonight! I don't have anything packed and I'm supposed to work a little late today, but that won't be a problem. My mind is set, I'm going to get away from everything that is bothering me here and have some fun in Vegas with my brother and his friends for the weekend. Oh boy was I wrong.

Flashforward to 5:30pm. We're installing a new fiber switch in the server room and we're about to connect the last fiber plug. As I'm watching the lights on the switch to make sure things get plugged in correctly, I lean against the wall and hit the Emergency Shut Off button. Shit! The entire room powers down. My shoulder has just shut off every server in the company. Instead of leaving work in five minutes and heading home to pack for Vegas, I'm now going to spend the next 3 hours bringing up every server and checking all kinds of different systems that my company relies on. My boss and one other coworker have to stay later than expected as well. And another employee has to be called back into work to check on another system. Needless to say I feel like shit.

I don't get home until 9 pm. I'm in a shitty mood and my "friend" (#1) who laughed at me is hanging with my roommate (#1). Bitch, moan, have a few scotches, and go to bed.

Saturday morning, I'm still pissed off because of work and because I'm not waking up in Vegas like I had planned. Instead I've created more crap to deal with. I get a text from a friend (#2) asking if we're still going to hang out that night. I let her know that I'm not in the best mood for it at the moment. Then she seems a little pissed off and tells me to go to Vegas. I think she read my Friday facebook post a little late and thought I was planning to go on Saturday. It happens.

Later I get a call from another friend (#3) who is on her way to Vegas and wanted to invite me out for drinks after her and some of her friends see a show. So now I've fucked up at work, I'm pissed because my get-out-of-town plans didn't happen, friends are upset with me, other friends aren't showing me love, and I'm missing out on more fun in Vegas. Excellent. Then the informercial pitch man comes out and says, "But wait! There's more!"

Saturday night my roomies and friend #1 are planning to go a country bar near my place. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a fan of country music. I don't mind listening to it in someone's car but this weekend I'm just not feeling like hearing it at all. I send a text to another friend (#4) to see if she is free for a drink because I'm trying to avoid the country bar and need to get out of the house. She says she has plans, but might be up for a drink depending on when her party ends. I'm already sure that's a polite way of saying no, so I make other plans with my brother. We head out to this tiny dive bar in Rowland Heights. A few of his friends are there which is a welcome change for me. I have a few beers and then get a text from one of the country bar goers (roommate #2) saying they feel dissed that I would go to a gay bar, but not the country bar (the gay bar was on monday with a friend (#6) that I hadn't seen in a long time). Having never heard anything like this from this friend I'm a little shocked. I text back saying I'll go next time, but we'll see about that.

It's Sunday now. I wake up and I'm still not in the best mood so I go out for a run. Running while pissed off is great! I get to think terrible thoughts about all the people who have pissed me off and get a good workout too. I ran 4.1 miles in 35 minutes and 41 seconds. Two minutes faster than my previous best time. Maybe it's because I'm pissed off, or maybe it's because I changed my route so that I'm not running uphill at the very end. Either way...running and writing this post has helped my mood some. Now I need some lunch.

Confused Much?

Monday night I got a text from a friend who I hadn't hung out with in a long time. She was inviting me out for a drink with her girlfriend. That's girlfriend, not girl friend. Yes they are gay. Since I hadn't hung out with either of them in a long time I was quick to say yes to going out for a beer. Then I found out they wanted me to meet them at a gay bar. I'm secure with myself so I still was up for it.

The bar isn't far from my place, so I meet the girls there. They've brought along a guy as well. He's a cool guy that's easy to get along with. Inside the bar, they've got the LOGO network on and it's playing a show that I can only describe as the drag queen version of American Idol. It was quite entertaining to watch. Anyways, we have a few beers, play some pool, sit on the back patio. We move around a lot since the place is practically empty.

A couple guys talk to our group since we now have 7 people there and there are only about 5 other people in the bar. While playing pool one guy starts to talk to me. Let's call him Jack. Jack starts asking me questions, making conversation. He asks where I'm from, how long have I lived in California, have I been to this bar before. All easy to answer questions. Then he asks if I'm new to the gay scene. I think I was a little confused as to what my answer should be. I thought he was asking if I had been to any gay bar before. I just responded that I had only come to the bar tonight because I was invited by my friends. We kept talking for about a minute after that and then he started to talking to someone else around us.

I never had a problem with Jack talking to me that night. I'm positive he was gay and I guess trying to see if I was too. Although I didn't realize this at the time. After we had talked, the guy that came with my friends walked by me asked how it went. He knew that I was straight, so I guess he was joking with me about my conversation with Jack. My roommate talked to her gay friend about the situation and found out that I unknowingly told Jack that I was gay and vulnerable. So apparently I'm a gay tease.

Just to recap my confusion: I'm a single guy who hasn't been on a date in months. I have guys who wink at me in the bathroom at work. And now I am a straight guy who likes to lead on gay guys. My head hurts.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Nothing like a nice ego boost while draining the lizard.

Using the bathroom at work can be an adventure. Presidents, VPs, Directors, and clerks all become equals when you step into the Men's Room. Each of you is there for a very specific purpose and most times very little is said about work. Things get even more interesting when you make a visit to the stall. More on that in a bit.

Being at my current job for over 5 years, I've shared a bathroom moment with just about every guy in the company. Most are pleasant. We might chat about a sporting event (Did you see Kobe make that last minute shot to win the game last night?), a new movie (Were you forced to sit through Valentine's Day this weekend?), someone famous (Conan really got screwed over by NBC!), or maybe tell a joke (Is this where all the dicks hang out?). But sometimes things get a little weird.

A couple times I've crossed paths with a certain guy in the halls who I'm pretty sure doesn't know my name. That's not a big deal. It's what he does to say hi that bothers me. Most people will say something like "Hey man, how are you?" or "Hi there! How's it going?" when they don't know someone's name. But not this guy! Oh no! He goes with the wink! I'm a firm believer in the idea that no guy should ever wink at another guy. Ever. It just doesn't look good. Even if one guy is trying to flirt with the other guy, it just doesn't work. The wink is made 1000 times worse when it happens in the Men's Room. Now I'm uncomfortable while taking a leak next to this guy. (Man law states that a one urinal boundry must be kept at all times. However, in my work restroom, there are only two urinals.) This man-on-man wink needs to stop immediately! And it especially needs to stop when either man is entering/exiting/or currently in the restroom.

As if that wasn't weird enough, I have another strange bathroom occurance to rant about. This one involves a different guy at my work. Thankfully it doesn't involve me directly. When guys use the urinals, nearly every guy will unzip, do his business, zip up, wash their hands and leave. For some reason this guy has to be different! While standing at the urinal, this guy will undo his belt, unfasten his pants, unzip his pants, and untuck his shirt to take a leak! I have no idea why he can't just unzip and keep things as put away as possible, but that's not the whole story yet! Most guys while taking a leak at the urinal will also aim for the back wall for a nice silent stream with minimal splash. The other day, I was in the stall when I heard The Process Pisser doing his thing at the urinal. Then I heard a continuous spalsh sound while at the urinal. This confused me. I started to think, "If he is splashing at the urinal, he isn't aiming at the back wall. Doesn't that mean that there is a possibility of him splashing on his pants since he is standing so close to the urinal?" I have no idea why this guy does all this, but I find it quite odd.

Hopefully your adventures to the bathroom are not nearly as eventful as mine.

The Claw Game

I suck at these games!

Today I was reminded of a time when I was much younger and used to spend a lot of time and money in arcades. I used to love to play Street Fighter II and Mortal Combat as well as any pinball game I could find. I'd play just about any game in the arcade that I could get my hands on except for one. The claw game!

One day, before I developed my hate for this type of game, I saw a prize inside that I had to have. I don't remember what it was, but it was something that I really, really, really liked and I just had to win it! At this point, no other game in the arcade even existed to me. The pinball machine could be broken and giving out free games, I wouldn't have noticed. My heart was set on winning that prize inside the claw game.

So there I am with a pocket full of quarters and I start to play this terrible claw game. Each game costs 50 cents, which is more than most of the other games I enjoy playing, but I didn't care. I wanted to win that prize! First attempt isn't even close. The prize doesn't budge. I think to myself, "OK Gabe. This isn't going to be easy, but you can do it!" I pop in two more quarters are play again. My claw glides down to the prize and it starts to close around it, but it slips out. I try a third time and I still don't get the prize up into the air.

After three attempts I'm still prizeless, but I haven't lost hope. I'm learning the ways of the machine and making adjustments as I go. On the fourth attempt I get the claw wrapped around my prize securely! The claw glides back up into the air, but I can see that my prize is slipping out of the loose grip of the claw. When the claw moves sideways to the dropbox, my prize falls down and I've lost again! Now the prize is in a new area of the machine and I have to rethink my strategy.

I play a fifth game. My two quarters go into the coin slot and I'm determined to win. The claw slides around inside the machine as I control it. I drop the claw down to my prize, but another prize gets in the way and throws me off course. My claw is empty once again as it raises from the prize floor. I learn from this. I study the prizes inside a little harder and see a way to get my claw onto the prize.

I play a sixth game. I guide the claw into position and it slowly lowers down inside the machine. It comes to rest on the prize that I've been eyeing for what seems like an eternity. The claw starts to raise up, but it doesn't close around my prize! Stupid machine! By this time I'm pretty frustrated. I've practically spent all my arcade money for the day, and I've only been there for about 10 minutes! I decide to give it one more shot.

Needless to say, my seventh attempt at winning this prize is a complete failure once again. I haven't got much money left, I've used up all of my patience, and I have nothing to show for it. The fact that I'm a little stubborn and unwilling to quit when I see something I like has gotten me nowhere. Finally, I decide that this prize is not worth all the trouble I'm going through and I decide to look around for another game in the arcade to play. Even if I find another game, I know that I won't be as satisfied. But sometimes, you just have to cut your loses and move on.

Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place

It's an age old saying. When forced to make a tough decision people say they are "stuck between a rock and a hard place." It has probably applied to you at least once in your lifetime. Today it applies to me.

Sometimes life doesn't always go the way you planned. You make decisions based on the information that you have and hope for the best. But when things change, you have to change with them. Sometimes those changes are simple, and sometimes they aren't. I'm being vague for a reason. I know nobody reads my blog, but I'm still not about to drag anyone through the mud on here. All I will say is that a change happened today and it has me in the middle. The bad part is that I don't have a decision to make. I can't choose one option or the other. I have to take both. And to quote Swingers, "there's the rub."

Not to worry though. I'm adept at making adjustments and small changes to make things work. I have no problem adjusting to new situations and I'm sure that I'll be able to do just that with this situation. I'll make a couple calls, change a couple plans, and everything will be just fine. It helps that I don't plan too far in advance because it means that I have less changes to make. Life is so much easier and manageable when you're an optimist like me. =)